Category: Leaning in

How we climbed Kilimanjaro

On By paulmcguire2013In Christie Lake Kids, Climb for Kids, Climbing Kilimanjaro, Kilimanjaro Day-by-Day, Leaning in4 Comments

I have put a few screenshots of the Garmin tracking device showing the ascent to the summit and the very long path back down. You can see the whole route and tracking here on Arcgis – really worth looking at!

When we were on the mountain, I used my Garmin device to provide live tracking of our climb up the mountain. The shots above are summary plots of the last two days. The first one shows the ascent on the last morning under a full moon. The second shows the two days of descending to get back to the gate.

I haven’t written much about the climb, probably because I haven’t processed much of it yet. I lost my voice on the mountain, part of a bad case of bronchitis I (and others) picked up before the climb. So, there hasn’t been much to talk about.

This was my second time up the mountain, but almost everything was new to me. We took a different route this time – the Lemosho Route – and this route follows a different path for most of the trek.

There is no question that this is a beautiful route, the photos I have seen so far are stunning. We hiked through rainforest for the first day and a half, totally enclosed by the surrounding flora. We heard monkeys calling out, the songs of so many porters along with the calls of exotic birds. The forest was full of sound.

we are being watched

The conditions of the climb were challenging. It was very hot on the mountain, once we lost the tree cover we were exposed to the full force of the Tanzanian sun. Above 3000m it became difficult to breathe and our progress up the mountain slowed to a crawl. This is not me complaining, this is what it is like to climb a major mountain. No one should ever attempt this unless they are in excellent shape. Most of us continued to suffer from the impact of respiratory infections, at high altitude this is a problem. There is no question I found this really hard. If it wasn’t for the guides who took my day pack after the second day I wouldn’t have been able to make the summit attempt.

By the second day, we were feeling the full effect of the intense heat in the moorland

This is a photo of one of our group members – we all felt like this.

I was surprised at how tired I was all the time. The heat, increasing altitude, and constant coughing seemed to be sucking the energy out of me. By the second day, I was beginning to worry if I could actually do the summit. Usually, for me the energy comes back, this time it was just a hard constant slog.

There are several factors that kept me going. First, it is all about humility. This is a place you don’t belong, an alien environment. Every day you are pushed to your physical limit. To make it, you have to allow other people lead the way. By the second day our head guide, Gerry, asked for my pack. He had told us at our pre-climb briefing that if he asked for your pack you had to give it to a guide. At first, this was a bit humiliating. I was supposed to be the group leader – I was the only Canadian who had actually climbed the mountain before!

I argued a bit and then I handed my pack over to Ian, one of our guides. For the rest of the climb, he was right beside me, taking my pack almost every day, making sure I was drinking enough and resting. Without Ian, I would not have made it to the top.

This is Ian. It is because of him that I made it to the summit

I continued every day and just put one step in front of the other. Soon, I couldn’t talk so it was easier to keep to myself and focus all my energy on the mountain. The ridges and valleys kept coming, nothing was flat. Just like everyone else, I continued to follow our guides up the mountain.

Base camp on the night of the final ascent – we started climbing at midnight

The last night, we were all still there. Some started earlier to allow for more climbing time. We kept together for at least the first three hours. It was all about will and determination, going slowly up. You never know how the cold, the lack of oxygen (here at 50%), and the steep ascent will affect a climber. Some had to turn back others continued. It is a surreal experience. We kept on coming up to little lighted communities of climbers huddling together to gather up energy. We passed people crying saying they couldn’t go any further, their guides encouraging them to keep moving. At one point our lead guide, Experience said we had reached the point of no return. I didn’t know what that was so I just kept walking.

The summit appears with the dawn. After 7 hours, our group crested the rim of the volcano, Stella Point – 5756m. The sun came up moments before reaching our goal.

Our group beginning to summit – climber and guide, always

I stayed on the summit for around 10 minutes. The porters gave me a hot cup of lemon water which was wonderful – I was out of water and the reserve in my pack was frozen. I had at least three cameras but I was so exhausted I didn’t bother to get them out for a summit shot. We looked around and we were organized into two groups – one to continue up the rim to Uhuru, one group to start the descent. I went for the descent, I didn’t trust myself to do any more climbing.

beginning the descent after the 7-hour climb to the top

The descent was steep, slow and dangerous. In 2017, I ended up falling and tearing a quad muscle. I think it took at least 3 hours to get back to camp – guides and porters helping me all the way.

The next day we climbed down a muddy trail for 7 hours to get to the gate. Two of our group members had to be carried away from the last camp, and both were later taken by helicopter to Moshi for medical treatment. This is pretty normal, the helicopter leaves from base camp on an average of 4 trips a day. These two climbers had been on the mountain for at least 14 hours.

I am starting to reflect on what we all did. Not everyone summited, but all of us climbed the mountain, we all did our best. Most people I spoke to said this was the hardest thing they had ever done. Some asked why I had done this a second time! At some points, I worried that suggesting this climb for the Climb for Kids group was too much. I am sure everyone at some point thought the same thing. But we did it and we did it because of the people we climbed with. The porters who carried our bags and the guides who watched over us so closely made this possible. We were in their hands all the way. These climbs call for a tremendous amount of humility and inner strength. We raised close to $50,000 for Christie Lake Kids and we returned a little more aware of how anything worth doing has greater value when you reach out for help.

Gerry our head guide, the guides and porters of the last day – Asante sana

How are historical thinking concepts taught in K-12 schools? Pt. 1

On By paulmcguire2013In Historical Thinking, Leaning in, My Researcher's Journal, Teaching Canadian HistoryLeave a comment

I am trying something different for me here. Earlier this year, I took part in a writing exercise to get some of my main research ideas down on paper. Now I want to take excerpts from that paper and use these to further tease out my ideas on historical thinking and teaching. It would be amazing to get some thoughts on the next series of posts that will give me ideas on how to move my research to the next step. These are ideas in the process of being formed. For me, I learn by writing, so I hope to learn something through these posts. I have added some graphics to make these excerpts look more like a blog post. Any new ideas and thoughts written after the paper have been put in italics.

How is history currently taught in the classroom? Is methodology adapting to new ideas presented in academic research, and if so, what ideas and practices are favoured by educators? Current research (Guerrero-Romera & Perez-Ortiz, 2022) shows a significant disconnect between how history can be taught to engage the learner in historical inquiry and what is being practiced in the classroom. Is there a way to bridge the gap between theory and practice?  This paper will explore how history is currently taught in K-12 classrooms. The gap between theory and practice will be examined along with research conducted on digital history methodology. The use of digital technology can be a way to transform classroom instruction (Nygren & Vikström, 2013), therefore, I will conclude by positing several ways digital history can facilitate the teaching of historical thinking concepts and suggest areas for further research.

The purpose and desired outcomes of history instruction have evolved over time. Osborne (2011) provides some insight into the changes that have taken place in the teaching of history in Canadian schools over the past 150 years.

First designed and employed as a tool for nation-building, particularly in English Canada, history was taught from textbooks such as The Canadian Pageant; Building The Canadian Nation; and Challenge and Survival (p. 56). After the Second World War, texts began to focus more on Canada and its place in the world. Increasingly, history education was employed as a way to develop responsible citizens motivated to act for the common good (Barton & Levstik, 2004). While the purpose behind the teaching of history gradually shifted, the methods used in the classroom proved more resistant to change. What had been considered innovations, were actually practices first introduced in the early 20th century (Kelly, 2014). Scholars such as Fred Morrow Fling were already favoring the use of primary documents over the textbook to fuel student inquiry (Osborne, 2003).

Problem-based learning, a more student-centered self-directed approach to learning (Maxwell, 2020), also had a long history stretching back to the first decade of the twentieth century (Kelly, 2014). The classroom remained resistant to change, favouring a style of teaching that emphasizes the transmission of great amounts of information to a passive audience (Gibson & Peck, 2020; Warring & Cowgill, 2017). This finding is backed up by the experiences of current pre-service teachers who typically describe to me their experiences in the history class as one burdened by the never-ending narration of dates and names.

As early as 1913, Fling developed a methodology for historical inquiry that mirrors the main components of what later would be called historical thinking concepts. His method focuses on the investigation and evaluation of historical source material leading to a synthesis of available evidence and the creation of a new interpretation of the past (Osborne 2003). Students should be asking – what is the nature of the source? Who created the source? Does it corroborate or conflict with other sources? Students should never accept without reservation the investigations conducted by others. To do so, Fling explains, robs the student of the opportunity to conduct real historical inquiry (Fling, 1907).

Fred Morrow Fling

This is the introduction. Here I am trying to set up the disconnect between what researchers write about how history should be taught and what actually happens in the classroom?

What is your experience as a student in the history class? How did you learn history? If you teach, do you practice in a way different from what you experienced?

Our encounters on the mountain

On By paulmcguire2013In Christie Lake Kids, Climb for Kids, Climbing Kilimanjaro, Kilimanjaro Day-by-Day, Leaning in1 Comment

Recovering in Ottawa

We are back home now and as a group, we have done some important things. First, we have raised over $43,000 for transformative recreation programming for kids here in Ottawa through Christie Lake Kids. I am so proud of our group. All 17 climbers made it to summit night and 14 later reached the rim – around the average success rate for Kilimanjaro. On the way two climbers were medically evacuated and at least two are dealing with the lingering effects of pulmonary edema.

I want people to realize how incredibly difficult this climb is. The summit night is dark and cold, groups of people pass you and then disappear. Some trekkers huddle for warmth while their guides try to convince them to resume their ascent. All night long there is the flickering evidence of climbers plodding in low oxygen towards the volcano ridge.

Most of our group at the summit base camp a few hours before the ascent

This is a bit of debriefing for me. Heather and I climbed with serious cases of bronchitis. Many of our group had to stop just to control their coughing all the way up. I lost my voice several days before the ascent and it probably won’t return for another week. The late night 7-10 hours ascent of Kilimanjaro is the hardest physical challenge I have undertaken. The other group members say the same. This may not be possible to convey to others who have not done this. People are constantly bombarded with so many things and events that it is difficult for them to appreciate the difficulty of a real-life challenge.

I am not surprised or disappointed. The purpose here is simply to record my thoughts and feelings a week after the climb. When you choose to take on a challenge like this you are separating yourself for a little while from the daily running of normal life. After a few days of recovery, we will happily return to the familiar flow. But, for a moment, it is instructive to stay in the cold, dark instance.

Summit dawn around 7:00 am after 7 hours of climbing

From this climb, I am taking away a few things. First, a renewed sense of humility. I would not have made it to the top without our guides. For three days, Ian, one of eight guides took my pack. Weakened by sickness and altitude I had to rely on him to get to the top. The guides, cooks, and porters were always helpful, cheering us on at every step. Kilimanjaro is a relationship between African and Canadian. No account of a climb is honest if it does not put the African team first – to them Asante sana!

The next thing. These climbs only hold meaning because of Christie Lake Kids. Heather likes to say that by taking on these extraordinary physical challenges we can get some sense of the daily struggles of the kids and families supported by CLK. Most importantly, CLK is not a charity handout for their kids. They aim to break the cycle of poverty here in Ottawa and that is much more than offering a free 10 days at camp.

The only way this is worth doing is because of the people at CLK who commit every day to bring positive, permanent change to the lives of children.

If you are reading this and have not donated, we would still love your support!

Finally, I value working with our little group of 17 climbers. Some of us have been waiting to make this climb for three years. All of the group suffered especially on the last night. No one ever questioned why we were doing this and we all can be very proud of what we were able to accomplish over the past year. What an honour it is to work with such a special group!

Lava Tower climb

Reflecting on a big climb is an experience that unfolds slowly. There is still so much to process here.

Climbing for Christie Lake Kids

On By paulmcguire2013In Christie Lake Kids, Climb for Kids, Climbing Kilimanjaro, Hope, Kilimanjaro Day-by-Day, Leaning in, Poverty in SchoolsLeave a comment

We leave for Kilimanjaro in 22 days.

I find it hard to believe that we are actually going. This is a trip that has been in the works for three years. COVID put a stop to the first attempt. Now, with some of the same group members, some new, we are preparing to head to Africa.

This year’s group

This is a trip you really want to train for. Kilimanjaro is the highest free standing mountain in the world. It is a really hard climb to be successful finishing, especially if you haven’t trained enough. Everyone has to contend with reduced oxygen levels, climatic zones that change daily and long hours of trekking. Heather always says that the adversity is good for us – it gives us a hint of what the kids participating in Christie Lake programs go through all the time. Today camp started. This is the first of three sessions and the start of a great summer for lots of kids heading out to camp.

This year, we have 17 climbers and we are over $30,000 raised so far for Christie Lake Kids. The real stories here are not about the mountain or the training, it is first about the kids who are supported by Christie Lake programming throughout the year. It is a privledge to raise money for this organization, they empower children through camp, after school programs, STEM clubs, sports teams, cooking clubs, and leadership programs. We are just one of the great fundraisers that the community puts on every year. Along with Climb for Kids, these events take place every year – Canoe for Kids, the Christie Lake Gala, the Christie Lake Basketball tournament (played by teams make up of Parliamentary M.P.s), a golf tournament and other events.

All the programs run by Christie Lake are free – there are no barriers to access for any of the activities they run. This should be enough to get everyone to donate, so if you are reading this – why not do something right now!

I am around $2000 on my fundraising page – but I would like to be at $3000 before we leave on July 22. I will be adding more posts as we get closer to going, so if you agree this is a worthy and important project, why not support us on a very difficult climb!

Closer to the climb date, I will pass on to all of you a link to our Inreach device that will allow you to follow us in real time if you are interested.

This is what the tracking looked like when I climbed in 2017

More soon. Wishing a great camp session to everyone!

A reset for 2022

On By paulmcguire2013In Hope, Leaning in, Life in the Times of COVID - 19, Mental Health, MixCloud, Old Fellas New Music, Social emotional learningLeave a comment

I did a really challenging Petoton class today with Denis Morton. He is tough and I really got a great workout from him. His theme was resetting in a new year and it resonated with me. I think I have been on a mental and emotional reset for most of this year and it is good to look at what this means to me as we enter 2022.

Dennis Morton

A reset is a good thing. To me, it means recasting, rethinking, and learning from experiences that are unique to me. The first reset for me has been the struggles I have had as a result of Covid. I have written about these in the blog and I am still in the process of recovery, but I am writing now to tell you that recovery is part of the process. It does come and we need to persevere.

This whole period of pronounced anxiety is not a loss, there is so much to learn while you are in such a state. For one thing, I am much more mindful of how I am doing and what I can do to further my recovery process. So many people go through periods like this, it is really important to take these opportunities to learn. Learning seldom happens when everything is going well – there is little motivation for reflection. There vis little real growth.

One of the infographics I made that record some of the wisdom I have gained through conversations with my therapist. Good to read this on a regular day.

The resetting process has many components. One big one for me has been the work I have been able to do on my Ph.D. at the University of Ottawa. I have completed two graduate courses and am beginning to start work on three more. This has been such a wonderful learning experience and I find new vistas are opening up all the time as I begin my training as a researcher. Maybe this semester I will find the time to write about what I am learning – reflection through writing is a great way better absorb the experience.

I have also gained much through Noom. I started this last January and have kept at it throughout the year. The psychology behind the program is what keeps me with them. So much of what they write can be applied to other aspects of my life. This is a very positive approach to examining life and how you want to live it. I have also lost 30 pounds and am much more aware of what I need to do to stay healthy.

I have returned to daily meditation practice using another app, Headspace. I have taken a bunch of their courses and am working on the Pro level. This is now part of my daily practice. It is only 10 minutes a day, but I feel like I am learning more about the benefits of the practice.

An on again off again part of the reset has to be Old Fellas New Music. If you read this blog, you will see a number of posts having to do with the music show my friend Bob Kenndy and I have done since the spring. The latest episode is a New Year’s Eve edition. The show had to take a back seat for a few months as I worked through my assignments, but I am hoping in the new year that Bob and I can do this on a regular basis.

Our latest poster – you can listen to our entire playlist here

So, where does the resetting process take me in 2022? All these elements plus a few others will remain important. Another part of the process has to do with learning to live post-pod with my wonderful partner Heather. Our children are all again on their own with one daughter now in the Maritimes – lots of learning here and having time together is a wonderful reset.

After a challenging year, it is important to reflect on what one is learning. No experience is wasted, everything we do has its purpose. Resetting for a new year means reflecting on the old and setting sights on what comes next. It has been a remarkable year in so many ways; we honour the time by pausing to reflect on all this.

The family in 2021 so many experiences, so much to learn

What does your Covid balance sheet look like? The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.

On By paulmcguire2013In Leaning in, Life in the Times of COVID - 19Leave a comment

I am starting with a question for you all. What does your life balance sheet look like after 14 months in a global pandemic?

This is a unique time in all of our lives. No story has dominated the news cycle anything like Covid – not in our lifetime. If you wanted to look for comparisons, you would have to go back to the Second World War. Absolutely nothing has dominated our lives like the pandemic.

So, how is your life going? I get asked this a lot mainly because I am in my fifth month on Noom and they tend to ask you lots of questions that call for a certain amount of personal reflection. I think it’s worth the trouble. Since the beginning of January I have been able to shed almost 20 pounds of excess baggage and I am looking to lose 10 more – Nomm likes it when you make public declarations!

How do you figure out your balance sheet in the biggest global crisis you are likely to see?

For me, it has to be a balance – Good, Bad and yes, Ugly. There is some of all of this for me and I would say probably for you too.

The Good is important, it is what we value the most and it is what paints the brightest self portrait. There are good things going on because of Covid. I have signed up for a Ph.D. which I will start this fall. I have had enough time to reflect that this is a good life challenge for me and many of you in the Twitterverse actually supported my decision to take this on – thanks for this.

I mentioned Noom, that is something I am doing with my partner, Heather and along with this we are new converts to the Peloton which is helping up get our hearts and I would say our heads back into good shape. Both of these healthy projects took flight nearly 10 months into the pandemic. Think of that; we have done our fair share of languishing, but we decided to take something back, get some greater control in a world where so much is beyond us.

One big positive thing in all of this has been the noticing. Early on in the pandemic I started walking our dog Dory all the time. This was Dory’s version of the Peloton, and she is still looking pretty sleek! The walks allowed me to see all around our neighbourhood and some of the walks eventually took Heather and I as far as the Ottawa River – these walks unfortunately were beyond what Dory could manage.

A recent Covid Walk shot – the photos had to be in our neighbourhood and no people could be in the shots. At any one time, only four pictures could be displayed.

The walks and the photos are a long-standing Good that has come out the pandemic. Once you really start noticing the world around you things begin to open up.

The Bad is not somewhere I want to dwell. We all hear this all the time, every day. It is almost comical how many bad news stories our local CBC Ottawa radio station is able to conjure up. They seem to take a certain glee in featuring yet another colourful local story about how our lives have been strained and drained over the past 14 months.

My Bad is the same as everyone’s. The places we can’t go – Kilimanjaro – Cuba – Montreal – the Maritimes – you get the picture. The people we can’t be with – for me this is mainly family. Our meetings with family are challenging and sometimes downright silly like when we all hid under a canopy on Christmas Eve in the middle of a torrential rainfall.

So, let’s not linger, the Bad is part of our shared experience, it varies depending on people’s circumstances, but we all share the Bad.

What about the Ugly? What does that look like for you? How have things become ugly for you and for your world? The Ugly could be your social media. Here we have a neighbourhood Facebook Page where post after post decries the habits of some of the homeless people in our area. That is nothing but Ugly.

For me too social media has played a part. When you can’t see people except for their screen, sometimes things can go terribly wrong. Just a few days ago I totally lost it when something I had spend hours on got a bit messed due to a technical glitch. Really, no one’s fault, but I totally lost it.

Why does this happen? How is it that it seems easier now than ever to become totally unhinged?

Is Covid unhinging us?

I later apologized for my bizarre behaviour, but I am perplexed by the Ugly. Can we understand this? Can you talk about your ugly side?

While I love the Good and accept the Bad, the Ugly has me wondering. What is going on? In other cases, long-time friendships are at risk because of some of the strains brought on by the pandemic.

I do not have any answers to finish off this post. The Ugly is what it is and I do hope the damage is not permanent. For me in times like this, I like to go back to Pema Chödrön and all of her wisdom. She is truly a voice for our time. She talks about treating ourselves, even with the ugly with loving kindness:

But lovingkindness—maitri (Pali, metta)—toward ourselves doesn’t mean getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy, we can still be angry. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That’s what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest.

Pema Chödrön meditation

This is my answer to the Ugly. We are challenged to treat ourselves as fallible humans capable of great things and sometimes of true ugliness. We don’t dwell in the Ugly instead we lean in to learn.

We lean towards the Good, we acknowledge the Bad and we learn from the Ugly.

My mom in dementia

On By paulmcguire2013In Leaning in, Life in the Times of COVID - 19, Mental Health11 Comments

People need to be honoured, people need to be written about.

In 2017, I wrote about my dad as he lay in a coma. It got lots of attention. He fell and lingered for weeks before he died. This post I honour my mother, but I doubt it will get as much recognition.

My mom is alive, but the wonderful character, the beautiful person who she was is almost dead.

My mom has advanced dementia. Her last real grasp of reality died with my father, but she lingers.

We moved her to Ottawa after my dad died, and when Covid allows, we visit her. She has endured months in the hospital after a broken hip, but she rallied and survives.

Today I had a visit and she railed at me, she screamed when we tried to give her medication.. She shouted at me when I wouldn’t bring her home -what is home??

She clawed at my visor and spit at me. I tried to distract with an old movie, she was a lover of old movies. Today it didn’t work.

I took her outside, I toured her around the residence. She complained – really loudly, that this was not her home.

For one moment, I think more of myself. I have no family to help with this. There is a brother, but he is in so much psychic pain he is not able to help.

I witness this and I have to remember. My mom was a good mom. My mom loved us and made our home the hub that all my friends felt comfortable coming to. Our place was always so much fun, she welcomed everyone to our place. we all grew up with her.

My mom was crazy, she would dance right into the super 8 film my dad was trying to take of beautiful cliffs in New Brunswick. My mom is who I talked to when I came home after too many beers who listened patiently when I blathered on about nothing. My mom let us use her wedding dress for a movie we were making. Who dived into the pool in that dress??

My mom was always there for us. My mom listened.

Now who is my mom? What does she think, what does she feel?

I am not sure she feels the absence of her wonderful partner. She talks about ‘Frank’ but I don’t know if she realizes he is no longer there.

Soon after my dad died, she told me a story. She was asleep in a different section of the room on the night he died. She talked about how he came to her that night and talked to her. I can’t remember what she said about that encounter, but it was a vision of comfort and love.

Now there are photos of the two of them together throughout the room, but I don’t think she recognizes them. Some times, I am Frank or her brother Paul also long gone. Sometimes I am Paul, but I am a bit surprised when she recognizes me.

Today her plea was to take her home. I told her that she was home, but really, that made no sense to her.

This is living with dementia. It is too easy to be angry with her because she is no longer the mom I knew. I write this to help me to remember to respect who she was even though she is still here. She is not who she was.

This is part of life, seeing your loving parent descend into something that resembles madness. There is no solace in this. There is no comfort, there are memories, but they are faded right now.

I write this out of great respect for my mom. I write this to remember. I write this to help me to me a loving son on the next visit when who knows what will happen.

Is it possible to mourn the living? I don’t know. I respect and love who she was. This is life, this is dementia.

Living in the Times of Covid – 19: A Journal

On By paulmcguire2013In Climbing Kilimanjaro, Hope, Leaning in, Life in the Times of COVID - 191 Comment

So, I reorganized my CD collection, sent a video to my mom and put a silly picture on Facebook. My very busy agenda for the day is complete. I am thinking now it is time to start an on-line journal on our days staying inside.

Just to be clear, none of this will be me complaining. I have a sister-in-law who is a nurse in Montreal, our daughter and her partner and our daughter-in-law are all front-line health care workers. They are the ones I know who are actually going through challenging times now.

Thank-you Norma, stay safe!

This is more of a reflection piece. Where was my mind at during the Pandemic?

If you can see the photo I put up on Facebook, you can get a sense of where my head is at. I really think, number one, the idea needs to be stay stable, don’t go off the deep end, this is a really weird time.

But at some point, we will all go over the deep end.

Two nights ago during a Zoom book club, I didn’t follow my own advice. I had spent an hour listening to the daily presser with Donald Trump fact-checked by Now This News. It is really good because they fact-check Trump in realtime. Good, but very disturbing.

Going from this train wreck to a discussion on books about hiking was a little too much. I erupted about Trump, about trekking books, about everything. If my Zoom partners could have backed further away from their computer they certainly would have. For good reason, my state of mind is now a discussion item and I can hardly blame people for that.

Trying to keep an even keel these days is a real challenge!

We all have minor and major disappointments. We can’t see our friends and family. Everyone is seeing opportunities and plans go up in smoke. In the very worst cases of course, many people are dying terrible deaths.

There was an incredible article in the Sunday New York Times – He Could Have Seen What Was Coming: Behind Trump’s Failure on the Virus.

It is a long article – four pages in the NY Times.It really outlines in gruesome detail how President Trump hid from what was coming. Then I read an amazing piece by Nicholas Kristof, Life and Death in the Hot Zone. Here is the video he made of his time in a COVID ward.

 

So, I think we need to do a bit of both. We need to send out the silly photos, we need to share our pictures about baking bread and we need to read good pieces on hiking too. We need to do it all. We need to face up to what is happening too.

There is no balance in the time of COVID -19. There are highs and lows and all are good. We need to witness the terrible and we can’t turn our faces away from the corrupt and stupid. Somehow, we need to find a way to see both.

For me right now, the best I can do is write. Yes, it is a bit of an apology for a wonky state of mind, but we all need to acknowledge that this is a different time. Terrible for some scary and uncertain for everyone.

If this works I will keep writing, maybe tomorrow.

In the meantime, take care everyone!

ps – I leave you with this – while I don’t really like books on trekking I love trekking videos – definitely, to each their own!

Sometimes you have to move on – working with vertigo

On By paulmcguire2013In Leaning in16 Comments

Today I was working with my trainer trying to get this old body ready to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro again.

We are really working on my leg flexibility right now, one of the things I need to get good at if I want to climb a huge mountain mass like Kilimanjaro. It is a very slow process.

Doing lunges and trying to stay upright

We thought that it would be interesting to do some writing about living with vertigo, especially training with vertigo because sometimes you just have to move on.

In late November, I came down with a vicious attack of vertigo. Everything started spinning and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. When things didn’t get better by the next morning we went to the hospital to check things out.

I got some pretty immediate treatment seeing how I was displaying the same symptoms as a stroke. Fortunately, after a day’s worth of tests and lots of doctors, it was determined that I had something called vestibular neuritis or an inner ear infection. Not all that interesting, but something that is pretty common. It can also have a dramatic impact on your life.

Now six weeks later, I still have most of the symptoms of this condition. I am dizzy most of the time, my balance is off, sometimes considerably but I don’t have any problems with my hearing or vision, here I am fortunate. I have daily exercises that I do. One has to do with rotating my head while throwing and catching a ball – our dog really likes this one.

I am fortunate because right now my work schedule is pretty light. In December I didn’t do anything but catch up on old movies. I actually did a Facebook survey to get some ideas for things to watch – I got a pretty good list!

Others have it so much worse. My wife Heather had Meniere’s Disease, also an ailment of the inner ear but so much worse. She dealt with this condition for at least eight years all the while teaching full classes of grade 7’s. The condition would sometimes lead to terrible attacks of nausea that would leave her world spinning for hours.

One of the reasons I am doing OK, is that I have the benefits of Heather’s experience. I am learning all sorts of tricks about how to navigate through my day and how to monitor my energy level.

It is one of the amazing things about teachers like Heather is their ability to cope with chronic conditions and still teach a group of students. Pretty amazing, really brave.

It is interesting to note how people react to invisible conditions. Many people have told me about their experiences with inner ear ailments. People talk about going for months without being able to keep their balance, a constant buzzing or fogginess in their heads. They also talk about recover which is really good to hear.

There is another group of people who unfortunately don’t get it. One person, once I explained what was going on said he thought I just had a cold. Some people, good friends have paid no attention to what is going on here. In one case, a former good friend was insulted when we cancelled a dinner because Heather was experiencing an inner ear attack. But let’s not focus on these folks.

There is a lot going on out there. We really don’t know what people are coping with and what people do every day to put up with a whole variety of conditions.

I think the only thing I would ask of people, especially friends is to take a few seconds to actually acknowledge when someone has been hit by a pretty debilitating condition. I am not asking for sympathy, just a few seconds of directed attention in the space of a busy day.

That’s not going to happen and writing about this doesn’t matter at least not to others, to me the writing matters.

What I love about my trainer is that he always takes me where I am. He is someone who has gone through battles I cannot even imagine and he thrives. He knows how hard it is for me to do a certain type of squat because today, for instance, my balance is not very good. But I do it and he is overjoyed. I am all over the place and my head is full of cotton, but I am doing my best stretches ever.

After the session I feel better, my head clears a bit. I am thankful for those who take the time to notice, my family, my trainer and a few of our friends.

This is a good reminder to try to be there for others. Try not to stay on your busy track and miss the moment to notice what is going on with another person. Take the time to get outside of your bubble, don’t move on too quickly.

New Beginnings, New Adventures

On By paulmcguire2013In Leaning in, retirement, Tour de Mont Blanc, Via Francigena10 Comments

When we are young, life presents so many milestones

Sometimes a few weeks can utterly change the direction your life is taking. When this is happening, I think it is important to stop, reflect and write.

I have had a pretty significant writer’s block this summer. Although I was able to get two posts off about our incredible adventure during the Tour de Mont Blanc, I was missing some inspiration.

As you get older sometimes you have to create your own milestones. For us, that was the Tour du Mont Blanc this past summer

That has changed pretty significantly in the past week. I am learning and experiencing again and I am compelled to keep some record of what is happening in our lives.

First and most importantly our first-born Liam was just married. For four wonderfully hectic days, we celebrated the life and love of Liam and Claire with all their friends and family. Nothing can prepare you for such an occasion and I already know that words are failing me when I write about how such a life celebration can really swoop you up and carry you to a new enchanted place.

Then life presents new, wonderful moments – Liam and friends with Mairi before the wedding

As you get older, it is understandable to think that life’s milestones and adventures can become less frequent. You have had your first job, your first child, your first almost everything. But, there are new beginnings. Something as simple and at the same time grand as the marriage of a child can shake you to your foundations in a way that is beautiful.

What is the collection of life’s adventures and challenges that leads to the meeting of two young people who fall in love and make the commitment to share their lives together? Being an intimate witness to this new adventure is enough to take your breath away.

Now, it would have been easy to return to a settled quiet life – everyone returns to work or study and I get to go back to the quiet, retired life alongside a new physical training regime for our next climb. But that is not happening.

On one incredible day last week, I was offered two teaching opportunities at the Faculty of Education at the University of Ottawa. The same day, I was invited to take part in a 3-day training on how to design, write and assess three-dimensional units for science education in the United States.

None of this was expected, I was planning my escape from the cold and winds of another Eastern Ontario fall by trekking in Italy for six weeks. No more!

A rapid transformation of circumstances can really play with the mind! I now have to give up quiet retirement and look to a schedule this fall that looks almost full-time. I never really thought I would be in a situation like this again and while I do mourn the loss of a great trekking opportunity in Italy, the hills of Tuscany are not going anywhere and right now I am beginning to feel my batteries recharge for a really new and unexpected adventure.

I love teaching and I really love working with new teachers. This is what I will be doing.  Yes, I need to learn how to write a syllabus and plan on ways to teach Intermediate History to prospective teachers, but I am very happy to leave the quiet and set out again. Who knew?

This is what life is all about. When I am graced with a new opportunity I need to embrace it. Life is an on-going adventure. Either I am the active witness in the case of Liam’s beautiful wedding, or I am being thrown back into a dynamic teaching and learning situation.

Life can still be full of adventure

This blog is about to get much busier. When life takes a radical change learning happens that really should be accompanied by reflection. Things now are so new I really don’t know enough to reflect, but I think that will change pretty quickly.

I really enjoy writing when new things come up. I actually learn as I write. If you read this I hope there is something in here that helps you. Maybe my new students will find something useful here!

September dawns with wonderful memories and new adventures around every corner. Life is really good!